Wewriteabout.life

Author: J

  • JWA: Happiness

    Oftentimes, I ponder about the enigma of happiness. More often, I hear theories.

    Happiness comes after suffering
    Higher Highs, Lower Lows
    Happiness is long term, pleasure is short term
    Gratitude is a cantrip
    You don’t deserve anything. You deserve everything.
    Happiness is a choice
    Happiness is an impossible goal we strive to chase
    Law of Attraction
    You will be happy and you will also be sad


    The definition of happiness should not rely on analogies yet apply to all analogies

    I once met a woman who excelled in the sales industry and was the top in her field in Southeast Asia. My “bosses” finally managed to book a talk with her and the TLDR is this:

    Your grandiose problems do not always require a grandiose solution. Most of the time, it’s a straightforward answer. Just stop being a pussy and do it.

    Obviously, it is always easier to dish out advice but never take it yourself. Of course, that means I’m a pussy too. So this got me thinking. All these theories feel like they are reflections of a singular truth to answer the FAQs of happiness. Every time you read them, it resonates with you but the answer never feels whole.

    Over the last 8 months or so, I’ve begun to think about various theories and learn new ideas from different industries and social interactions. Right now, I am content. I’m still a mess, still a pussy, am not close to completing the goals I have to achieve and have a great number of regrets but I am content. I do feel the need to document this as a reminder for the future but I find it impossible to articulate. The one truth which feels like it should be a straightforward answer seems impossible to write. I am aware of and have learnt from all the different theories, have crafted more on my own that may very well be convergent with ideas of an ancient philosopher, and am certain these very thoughts also flow through the minds of many people.

    There is an inkling of a feeling that I will never be able to articulate it and as much as I want to, I am content with never achieving it. However to sate my urge to document this abstract feeling:

    From reading the theories, I resonate with them. Therefore, I know Happiness. Happiness simply is. Nothing more, Nothing less.

    Does it feel incomplete? Honestly, More so than the other theories. But I like it.

  • JWA: The Attacking Haystacks

    Early in the 21st century, a group of young punks were out one day. Painting the town red with their shenanigans, they chanced upon a peaceful farm.

    Unlike most farms they encountered in the past, this one felt odd. No one could have predicted at the time, but the presence of the oddly shaped haystacks that seemed to almost blanket the plot were hiding a simple dark truth. 

    The towering misformed dirty yellow stacks were strange at first glance, but passed off as regular haystacks to the uninformed eye. One by one, the teens clambered over the fence and gathered for a round of hide and seek. Most of them shared the same brain cell and hid in the haystacks nearby, within earshot of Billy – the seeker. Others, craving more thrill, hid in the looming shadows cast by the moonlight, ready to scamper away at the sound of a crack. 

    5…

    4… 

    As Billy counted down, everyone prepared for the hunt to begin. Even the wind seemed to flee. 

    3… 2… 1… 

    Silence. Darkness itself ate the moon and the farm was plunged into a pit of hungry shadows eating at the very fibres of the teens’ confidence. Shrill screams punctured the air, rattling souls. The infinite cacophony that seemed to grow increasingly louder every passing second ceased suddenly. 

    ———

    Billy opened his eyes. Silence. Before him, a darkness so deep, he doubted there was even a floor. The personification of fear ran its tendrils down his back, sending shivers straight up his spine. Afraid to turn around, he approached the first haystack. 

    The haystacks around him seemed to pulse in his vicinity, the hay twitching like hairs on a timid child. Cautiously, he reached out to the haystack. Also sharing the same brain cell, he was almost cocky, thinking he’d find one of his friends immediately. In the spur of the moment, he lunged forward, hoping to catch them off guard. 

    Eviscerated. Skin tore, blood gushed, and a sharp twang of pain coursed through his body. He screamed in agony, his pre-pubescent cries breaking the silence. 

    Billy had been pricked. By the needle in the haystack. 

  • JWA: Death(the loss of a love)

    Light shines in the darkest places —

    If you know where to look

    How many ways can you describe the abyss of death? When you gaze into it, it gazes back. If you love it, does it love you back? 

    Loss of a love is a special feeling of depth. A depth so deep it’s simultaneously unfathomable and fathomable. A void you scream into that never replies. 

    ———

    You\’ve gazed upon their being. The one you’ve grown to tolerate and love. Every mole, blemish, and imperfection of their soul, giving life to this perfect creature before you, bound to you by an unexplainable thread. It’s a presence that you’ve tested and similarly, have been tried by. Yet, you’ve never cast it out. Always occupying the same room in your heart, proving that there was always so much more you could have offered. Nevertheless, they’ve wandered around in there and gradually made claim of the rooms they’ve passed by, adding their own little sticky notes in the book of “you”. 

    ———

    Now, you gaze upon that same heart. It was far bigger than you could have ever imagined. It surprises you that such an immense volume of nothingness could exist within your tiny frame. For a brief moment that lasts a lifetime, you peer into the black, unable to focus. Your eyes have nothing to focus on. Seeing blind, you leap in, perhaps hoping to catch the fabled glimpse of comfort. Perhaps a shimmering crinkle in the ink black fabric offering serendipity. But nothing happens. You are still on that edge, diving deeper, cascading into darker, staler depths by which time a profound feeling of helplessness and solitude cocoons you entirely and your world is perfectly black. Time stopped when they fell still in your arms. The world lost its colour when the casket became heavy. Existence was cold as you watched the fire. And now your world will never be again. 

    ———


    “And soon as you submit

    Surrender flesh and bone

    Love takes on a life

    Far greater than your own

    It uses you at will

    And drives you to despair

    And forces you to feel

    More joy than you can bear

    Love gives you pleasure

    Love gives you pain

    And yet when both are gone

    Love will still remain”

    ~ Love Never Dies, Andrew Lloyd Webber

  • JWA: Interesting vs Basic

    First of all, I’d like to mention in advance that I do not look down on people I find “basic”. I simply tend to find “interesting” people more appealing.

    Obviously, “interesting” is very subjective. What I find to be interesting, may not be the case for someone else. However, if you do find something that sparks interest in you, the further down the rabbit hole, the more it intrigues you. For example, when you learn a subject that you like, the foundations are rather common knowledge. everyone knows that 1 + 1 = 2 and the earth is flat. Jk. As you get deeper into the topic, things get a little bit more interesting. When something appears to be more common, it becomes more boring. Sure, there are timeless activities you will always seem to get an unchanging level of satisfaction out of but no matter how many times you do it, to others, it could get boring after a set amount of encounters.

    When I think of basic, I can’t help but also think of the word boring. I do have basic friends who I am close to and do not find boring but for the large majority of people, they do in fact bore me. At some point, seeing a similar person with one or two small differences in their personality is like doing a mathematical problem of y = mx + c but with different values of ‘m’, ‘x’ and ‘c’. it is different from the previous equations but also gets very monotonous and I find myself often desensitised by the experience of meeting “new people”, especially because of the ability to read them like a book.

    Interesting, however, is like….

    [Missing Image]

    Ok… this is a bit much, but my view still stands. In my eyes, interesting people aren’t always interesting. It sounds rather contradictory, doesn’t it?

    Let’s use math again. Yay, math.

    You get bored of y=mx+c and find quadratics. Suddenly, you’re more interested! It’s something entirely new but you get to combine what you knew before with it and can play around with the different dynamics that are available to you. When you keep searching for more and more, you eventually find that quadratics(by itself) becomes less interesting or boring.

    I find that interesting people are further away from what I consider myself to be very common. Which means that I am also boring to other people. As a matter of fact, after knowing myself for so long and being able to read myself, I find myself boring. To touch on William Phang’s “We will never be happy. Why we should strive to be anyways.“, around paragraph 7, he talks about an animal, constantly seeking a higher level of happiness, while another, remains at a constant, perfectly content with the level it is at. In a similar way, I liken that to people that I find interesting and basic.

    In general, you cannot stop growth. you can stunt it to the point where there is barely any increase but it will keep increasing no matter what. Who is to say what you should do or have to do? No one.

    I just realised that people are like eevees…. you start out as a basic eevee and have the option to gain experience and evolve into many variants. some just choose to remain content with the evolution stage they are at.